When Flies Persist…

I had fallen. The wound was gaping and spilling blood across the floor. I needed a doctor. I chose to clean it, wrap it and wait it out. A month passed…it oozed. It stung. The wound was attracting flies. My arms were tired of shooing the pests. Other duties took precedence. The flies were winning…

fly-swarm

I could almost hear them laughing…like little devils who, in my weak moments, had finally got the best of me

I realized anew that I am a wounded woman, fragile from the fall, and in need of much more than just someone who can shew away my flies.

DSC_0012

My heart aches for all the broken pieces that are spilled out and leaving a bloody trail behind me.

Friendships I’ve harmed with words or actions, family relationships that are broken and in need of care, loneliness, death, the painful reality of the geographical distance between parents, church, friends, and feelings of bitterness as a result.

DSC_0067

Load that down with relentless heat and humidity in the jungle, rats that scurry along the beams of our hut, panic attacks, waking with the realities of pit latrines, fetching the day’s water from the well, hand washing the laundry, schooling children, changing diapers, and deciding what creative bean concoction we’ll eat again for lunch today.

DSC_0028

These are all broken realities, because I’m broken. Each can become one of the pestering flies that won’t leave me alone.

And as sad as it is, what God intended for good, I can allow to become my most persistent annoyance…

This year marks the tenth year of our calling to cross-cultural missions. I remember the passion I had in December 2004 when we began this journey. I can’t say the same for myself today…

DSC_0180

So where does that leave me?

I think it makes me normal. Normal enough to sit in my calling and truly wrestle with it, whether its my calling to go make disciples, kill the rats, or serve my husband.

DSC_0209

A friend once taught me that when my passion has run dry, even my faith feels like it’s drowning…lift your hands to Jesus…sing to Him…run, cling, hold on to Jesus…wallow in His Word.

DSC_0028 (1)

He will meet you in your normal place.

He will shoo away the flies and heal you.

After 3 months my wound finally healed.

DSC_0244

With much wrestling, clinging and prayer, our family is planning to return for another term in Nosy Be. This decision gives me great challenge. Please pray for us and our continued calling to the Sakalava people of Nosy Be.

DSC_0317

We are in need of additional funding partners. Prayerfully consider financially supporting us.

You can follow this link to find out the best way for you to do that (our missionary number is 14427):

http://www.mtw.org/Pages/Give_FAQ.aspx

Singing to Him,

Rebe